goodthingsarewaiting:

In 2019 I wish you loud uncontrollable laughter and smiles that make your eyes crease. I wish you messy hugs with drunk friends and the warmth of a strangers kindness. I wish you red hot passion for the things that make you happy and ‘I love you’s from the people who matter.

(via th13f-of-sp4c3)

orochimarufacts:

If you cut me I seep clear aloe vera gel. Like thats it. That’s who you’re dealing with. 

(via th13f-of-sp4c3)

axolameo:

southernbitchface:

virginiaisforhaters:

princesscas:

If you told me that in 2019 the government would have been shutdown for over 20 days because of the wall funding AND that Clemson not only won the Championship BUT the President of the United States would serve them McDonalds, Wendys. Burger King and Pizza Hut…I would not have believed you. Its straight up, like an article from theonion

Imagine winning the championship and you’re invited to the white house only to walk into the room to find cold fast food had been served. I mean COME ON 

They’ve got fine china and this poor guy is struggling to pick up a piece of pizza with…tongs. THEY DIDN’T EVEN TAKE ANYTHING OUT OF THE BOX 

At the same time this is sad, disrespectful and trashy but like…I find it hilarious that this even happened. 

EDIT: I CAN’T BREATHE THEY PUT THE PACKETS OF SAUCES IN THESE FANCY DISHES 

his big brag for this one was he “paid for all the food himself” because the white house cooks are furloughed (because of him you know) but are you telling me that this dude who is supposedly a billionaire couldnt afford to pay a few chefs for the night? my dude that is fucked 

Is The Onion still in business because the world is one major shitpost already. What are they gonna do? Write real news?

It’s BUCK WILD that he couldn’t get catering from one of his businesses (hotels/restaurants?). Like that is so insane that a literal billionaire felt the need to brag that he bought fast food. Like this is a fever dream

(via isuckattechnology)

that-twink-over-there:

50shadesofkomaeda:

celticpyro:

doujinshi:

so this kid he used to bully me in middle school before i got tough, well this is kind of a funny story. so i sugar from time to time but my latest
sugar mommys house is so extra and i didnt bring my glasses but im going through the house because she told me to make myself at home and i see a family photo and im just like he looks really familiar but i cant make out shit. and so she and i start talking and shes like yeah i have a son your age actually and im just like wait… and she was like you’ll meet him later when we go to the car show, and im just like fuckin wait.. and we get to the car show and its me and her we’re holding hands being friendly and shes like and heres my son. and i shit u not this is the same dude who used to fucking bully me in middle school and he starts fucking crying because he didnt know his mom was lesbian and i was just like hey its been a while, but im getting fucked by your mom.

(via rydellio)

storyofthislife:

I get road rage walking behind people.

(Source: brightindie, via theaudacityofthisbitch)

afroturtwig:

susiethemoderator:

ssnycm:

This is how I cry lately

that guy was most definitely a university student

(via bobomayburke)

creamynut:

gynelsy:

You’re doing soooo much for someone that doesn’t do shit for you….why? 

I’m a dumb ass bitch, next question

(Source: scorpiogy, via theaudacityofthisbitch)